


Lights Will Guide You Home

by GothicBarbie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Anger, Angst, Feelings, Foster Care, M/M, Physical Abuse, Pining, Porn With Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:14:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2680418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicBarbie/pseuds/GothicBarbie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the one where Louis is a 17 year old kid in an abusive foster home and Liam's the social worker that helps him. </p><p>theres feelings and stuff too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lights Will Guide You Home

Liam lays his head gently against the glass of the window and lets the condensation from the cold gather on his forehead. He's exhausted and thankful he has Zayn to drive today so he can get a tiny bit of rest before the next meeting. Liam really isn't looking forward to this trip, but then again, he never does.

 

The life of a social worker can be very stressful and sometimes extremely depressing. He hates going to flats, sharing space with terrible parents and meeting children that have been neglected. He's not sure why he got into this profession to begin with, and it's starting to wear on him.

 

"How do you do it?" Liam finds himself asking. He grew up in an almost perfect household; loving parents who gave him everything he ever needed and always supported him. Zayn didn't have it so lucky and as he hears his co-worker and friend sigh, he knows he understands what Liam means.

 

"It reminds me of what I went through." Zayn answers quietly, not looking away from the road as he continues to drive. Liam lifts his head from the window to look at him. "Keeps me motivated in helping them."

 

And Liam knows he's right. At the end of the day it’s about the kids and the children and the teens that need help; that need someone to turn to. And Liam knows he is good at his job. He's a people person and for whatever reason people trust him almost instinctively.  

 

When they finally arrive Liam already knows that it’s not going to be good. The house is run down and there are kids running around outside- dirty and disheveled- and Liam braces himself for this as much as he can.

 

\--

 

Liam meets 17 year old Louis Tomlinson that day and he wonders how they could have missed it. 17 years have gone by and this kid has been stuck here in this hell hole all this time? Bruises litter his face and Liam knows that it’s too late. Soon he'll be 18, and he'll have gone his entire childhood without ever knowing real love.  

 

They try to ask him what happened; to admit that he's being mistreated but the boy doesn't budge. He makes up a story about getting in a fight at school. Liam knows it’s a lie immediately. The shifty eyes, the monotone expression, he's seen it all. He knows when a kid is trying to cover something up.

 

"We just want to help you." Liam says gently, and places a hand over the younger boys. Louis immediately pulls his hand away and retreats back.  

 

"I don’t need your help." He spits out and stands to leave.

 

Liam sighs in frustration and watches as he walks back down the hall towards his bedroom. He may not want help but there is something in those sad blue eyes that says he desperately needs it.

 

And Liam is going to do everything in his power to make sure that happens.  

 

\--

 

Liam hops out of the car and slams the door shut, dragging his feet as he walks his way back into the office.

 

 

“Come on Liam, it’s gonna be okay.” Zayn tries to calm him down.

 

“Not it’s not!” Liam tries not to shout but he can’t control it. He’s fuming. “I can’t believe that there’s nothing we can do, that kid is clearly being abused.”

 

“I know Liam… but he if doesn’t come forward there is nothing we can do.” Zayn sighs, equally frustrated with the situation.

 

“It’s bullshit.” Liam mutters under his breath. Stupid regulations. He’s really starting to hate his job. In the last few years he’s found himself getting more and more invested and it's finally taking it’s toll.

 

“At least he’s 17 ya know?” Zayn says, trying to calm Liam down. “At least he’ll be out of the house soon.”

 

“Not soon enough.” Liam responds quietly. Liam’s been invested in many cases before, but there was something about Louis that was different. Even though he said he didn’t want help Liam knew that wasn’t true. Something in his eyes was begging for it. If only he could persuade him to come forward.

 

Liam shakes his head to himself and tries to slow his breathing back to a normal pace. He still had half a day and he didn’t want to focus on this the entire time. But it was difficult not thinking of the boy. _There’s nothing you can do_ Liam repeats to himself over and over again.

 

A bigger voice in his head says, _maybe there is_.

 

\--

 

It’s days later and Louis still can’t stop thinking about Louis being stuck in that house, feeling neglected and ignored, and maybe even worse. He shouldn’t be checking up on him, not after the case was dismissed but he can’t help it. He sits in his car in front of Louis’ house just watching. He’s not sure exactly what he’s looking for, but he feels better being here, in case anything suspicious were to happen. It’s getting later and later and Liam finds his eyes closing, but he’s soon startled awake when he hears a door slamming nearby.

 

He looks up to see Louis, a bag thrown over his shoulder, as he runs across the yard and out onto the street. Liam wonders to himself where the heck he is going so late at night and starts his engine, trailing Louis slowly in his car.

 

He only gets a few blocks when Louis stops in his tracks, turns around and looks straight at him. Liam feels his face flash red, he’s embarrassed to be caught but there’s nothing he can do now, Louis is walking right over to him.

 

“Stalk much?” Louis yells and comes right up to the window.

 

Liam rolls it down and he can see that Louis looks pissed and he isn’t sure what he can say to make this better.

 

“I’m sorry” Liam says calmly, putting the car in park. “I was driving by and saw you walking down the street alone.” He hopes Louis believes the lie and continues, “I wanted to see where you were going…. are you running away?”

 

Louis rolls his eyes and shoves his hands in his pockets, annoyance still radiating from him. “Can’t exactly run away when no one cares if you’re gone, can you?”

 

A pain in Liam’s gut begins to rise the longer that he sits here looking at the boy. Louis looks so hurt and so lost and he can’t exactly blame him for wanting to leave.

 

“Where are you gonna go?” Liam asks and Louis immediately shrugs.

 

“Dunno, I’ll figure it out. I usually do...” Louis begins to walk away and Liam wonders what he means by that. Clearly he’s done this before.

 

“Louis, do you need somewhere to stay for the night?” Liam knows it’s not the smartest idea, implying that Lou could stay with him. It’s probably against the rules somewhere in his job description to help keep a kid away from his foster home, especially when that home was recently cleared but he doesn’t care. He’d rather deal with Louis for a night then have him go back to that shit hole.

 

Louis turns around and looks strait at Liam. He stands there for a minute, confusion plastered on his face and he asks “You mean at your house? Why would you do that?”

 

It’s Liam’s turn to shrug when he realizes that he doesn’t really have a good answer. He barely knows him, there is no good reason that he would reach out to him, other than the fact that he feels bad for him. But he would never say that to Louis, that would only push him away.

 

“I’m a nice guy?” Liam says with a smile, hoping that Louis will accept.

 

Thankfully he does and instead of answering he just walks around to the passenger side of the car, getting in quickly and slouching down in his seat. “I can take care of myself.” He mutters quietly and Liam is already driving away, not bothering to challenge him.

 

\--

 

Liam has a spare room and he sets Louis up in it, telling him where the kitchen is if he wants to make some food. It’s getting pretty late and Liam decides to head to bed early but gives Louis a remote and tells him he’s free to watch anything he’d like. He debates letting Louis use his ipad for the night, he still doesn’t know the boy and briefly worries that he may end up stealing something but then talks himself out of that idea. He doesn’t know why, but he has a good instinct about Lou and doesn’t see him as the type.

 

Louis looks to be in total awe and takes a seat on the bed, silently looking around at everything.

 

“I’ve never had my own room before.” He says quietly and the pain in Liam’s gut returns. He feels so terrible for the kid and immediately takes a seat next to him on the bed, wanting to say or do anything that could help.

 

“You know Louis if something else is happening at your house, you can tell me.”

 

He looks over at Louis and gently places a hand over his. He means it to be comforting but realizes immediately he shouldn’t have done it at all because then Louis is moving into him and actually leaning in for a kiss. For a brief second Liam’s brain isn’t even registering what’s happening but then Lou’s lips are barely brushing against his own and Liam retracts, pulling his hand out from under Lou’s and standing from the bed quickly, backing away.

 

“What are you doing?” Liam asks, trying to stay calm, but it comes out in an almost yell.

 

Louis looks at him strangely for a second, then shrugs, “I’m sorry, I thought that’s what you wanted?” He seems genuinely confused and Liam has to take a step back.

 

“What I wanted? Louis, why would I want that?”

 

Louis shrugs again and looks away from Liam and down at the floor. “It’s what most guys expect when they pick me up.”

 

And then the impact of Lou’s words finally hit Liam and he realizes what Lou means. Skeevy, disgusting guys have picked up at this lost and lonely kid and have completely taken advantage of him?

 

“Don’t look at me like that…” Louis says, voice rising in defense. “I learned over time that if I just gave them what they wanted I’d have somewhere to crash for the night instead of the cold ground.”

 

And he says it so naturally, like its normal to be treated this way and Liam desperately wants to comfort him, reach out and hug him and tell him that life doesn’t have to be like this. But he knows that he can’t.

 

Instead he just leans back against the door and tries to speak calmly. “We’ll I’m not like those guys, okay? I don’t expect anything from you Louis.” And he thinks he can see relief pour out of Louis at his words.

 

He just nods his heads silently and smiles at Liam in appreciation.

 

“Try to get some sleep?” Liam says softly before turning around and shutting off the light. He makes it a few steps out the door before he hears Louis call out to him.

 

“Thanks.”

 

\--

 

Liam wakes up the next morning to find Louis gone, which upsets him a little bit. The kid didn’t even take breakfast and it was the least that Liam could have done for him. Liam had been hoping to talk to Louis a little before he left too.

 

Last night he felt he almost had a breakthrough with him and he wanted to attempt to get Louis to confess to his foster parent’s abuse.

 

Liam goes as far as roaming around the streets, even stops by Lou’s foster home in hopes of spotting him, but no such luck.

 

 

Weeks go by with absolutely no word from him at all and the worry Liam feels constantly nags at him. He’s not really sure why he even cares so much, it’s just one kid. One of many in fact, who is clearly capable of handling himself, but Liam can’t stop obsessing over it.

 

Some part of him feels like this is Lou’s last chance at a healthy life and if Liam doesn’t help him, who will?

 

\--

 

Liam does end up seeing him again, almost three weeks later. He’s grabbing some coffee at a local café when he spots the familiar flash of bright clothing sitting alone in one of the corner booths. Liam makes his way over and doesn’t even bother saying anything, just sits quietly opposite the boy.

 

Louis looks surprised to see him but he doesn’t stand to leave, only returns eye contact with Liam, as if he’s challenging him to speak first.

 

“Hey” Liam breathes out quietly, instinctively moving a hand forward to touch Louis on the wrist lightly. It’s meant to be a comforting touch, but Louis draws his hand back immediately. At first Liam wonders if he made him uncomfortable, but then he realizes that Louis is rubbing his wrist gently, as if to try to sooth it.

 

Liam doesn’t even ask he just instantly reaches across the table and forces Lou’s sleeve up his arm, exposing a dull, dark bruise that’s freckling the surface. Liam sighs loudly and Louis rips his arm away.

 

“Save it” he says bluntly, turning his gaze away from Liam and out the window.

 

“Come on Louis, you need to say something.” Liam says firmly, trying to catch Lou’s focus again but he refuses to look back at him.

 

“No use.” He repeats and finally returns eye contact with Liam. “I’ll be 18 soon and I’ll be out of there for good.”

 

Liam isn’t convinced but just as he’s about to say something else Louis is interrupting. “Another home could be worse, I can handle the bruising.”

 

Liam remembers the conversation from a few weeks back and adjusts further in his seat, getting closer to Lou’s face so that no one can hear. “Is it just physical abuse Louis?”

 

Louis knows what he’s implying and doesn’t bother responding, just nods his head like he can’t believe Liam even asked.

 

Liam wishes he never said anything at all, the last thing that Liam wants is to lose Lou’s trust. But he has a sliver of hope because Louis is staying put and Liam wonders if he’ll regret saying what he’s about to say, but all of his instincts are telling him to just go with it.

 

“Do you wanna stay with me for a while?”

 

Again Louis doesn’t respond, just stares at Liam, as if he thinks Liam is going to take it back, or say it’s a big joke.

 

“I mean, you said they didn’t care if you were gone…” Liam smiles, trying to keep the conversation light. He knows he’s completely over stepping his bounds as a social worker, but he doesn’t care. He wants to help Louis.

 

Then suddenly Lou is pushing back in his chair, grabbing what’s left of what little food he has on the table and begins to walk out the door.

 

“I haven’t needed anyone my entire life… I don’t need you.” He spits out the words so angrily and Liam knows that he’s touched a nerve. He hopes he hasn’t pushed away Louis for good.

 

“You know where I live if you change your mind.” Liam calls out to him as he exits the door in a huff, not looking back.

 

\--

 

Liam doesn’t except to see Louis again, at least not that same night but when there’s a knock on his door at 2 am and he knows before he even answers that it’s Louis.

 

He shouldn’t be this happy that his sleep was interrupted, shouldn’t actually be smiling about the fact that Louis has returned, but he is.

 

Liam opens the door in a hurry and he’s shocked to see Louis standing there with his hair dripping wet from the rain and clothes soaked. Bruises litter his arms and his face looks red from crying – or worse.

 

Liam immediately rushes over to him, pulls him inside and locks the door.

 

“Sorry it’s so late…” Louis tries to say but Liam is already hushing him, just pulling him into a hug to hold him.

 

It’s a little strange, they barely know each other, but Liam wants to show him some sort of comfort and Louis is more than willing to take it right now.

 

“Shhh, it’s okay…” Liam says gently, whispering into his ear.

 

“Let’s get you some dry clothes…”

 

Liam pulls Louis with him to his bedroom, sits him on his bed and then scours through his drawers, trying to find something that will fit. He ends up tossing Louis one of his old T-shirts and some sweats, clothes that he doesn’t wear that often and knows are a little small for him, so they should fit Louis perfectly.

 

He’s about to leave the room; give Louis some privacy while he changes, but the second he turns back around Louis is already undressing.

 

Liam tries to look away but it’s extremely difficult. Louis is half naked and wet and shivering and Liam is only human. He can’t deny that Louis is attractive, even though he knows that’s the last thing that he should be thinking about right now.

 

When Lou’s finished changing. Liam moves to sit next to him on the bed.

 

“Please, Louis.” He begs and Louis immediately looks at him. “Please report this.”

 

“I can’t.” Louis says firmly, no anger in his voice, just sadness.

 

“Look at you!” Liam raises his voice, touching the side of Louis’ face gently where he can see a small scratch, anger rising in his gut.

 

Louis flinches slightly at the touch and Liam pulls his hand away.

 

“I can take it.” Lou says firmly.

 

Liam wants to believe that’s true but it’s not just Louis he is concerned about. “Yeah, what about your foster brothers? By not reporting them you’re putting their lives in danger too.”

 

Louis looks upset, stands from the bed and turns to face Liam. “Why do you think I’m still there?”

 

Liam can feel the anger in his voice and he waits for him to continue.

 

“They’re why I have to stay. If my foster parents are hitting me, they aren’t touching them.” Finally it all starts to make sense.

 

“Is that why you act this way Louis? Purposely causing trouble so they will take their anger out on you instead of them?”

 

It’s admirable what Louis is doing for his siblings, but it doesn’t make things any better. Knowing the truth only seems to pull at Liam’s heart that much more.

 

Louis doesn’t respond to that, just turns his attention to the floor.

 

“I promise, if you report them, they will be removed from the house, and so will you.” Liam stands, trying to get Louis’ focus back on him. “You wouldn’t have to go through this anymore.”

 

“And then what, Liam? We’ll all be split up?” Louis looks back at him, eyes pleading. “And can you promise me that they won’t be put in worse homes? What happens if they do? I won’t be there to defend them!”

 

Liam can tell how upset he is, he’s practically shaking and fiddling with his hands and Liam doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to say that’s going to fix this. Worst of all he knows that Louis could be right. As much as he tries to help, as much as he tries to prevent stuff like that from happening, they can’t always stop it.

 

“Promise me you’ll let me handle it?” Louis says confidently and Liam wants to protest but he doesn’t want to lose Louis.

 

“Okay, I promise.” Liam says firmly. He may regret it later but he doesn’t want to do anything to push Louis away.

 

Liam feels helpless and he lets his instincts take over and he pulls Louis back over to him; closes him into another tight hug as he strokes the back of his head in comfort. “I’m sorry” is all that he can say, and he repeats it over and over. He feels Louis finally return the hug and put his arms around Liam’s back, tentatively touching.

 

“We’ll figure this out okay?” Liam says again, hoping to reassure him and pulls away gently, looking him right in the eyes. He lets his arms fall from Lou’s shoulders and Louis does the same.

 

Liam breathes out, for the first time he notices just how blue Louis’ eyes are and they just stand staring at one another, only a few inches separating them. Then Liam can feel warmth against his palm, Lou’s fingers intertwining with his own and locking their hands together. Liam immediately looks down, startled by the contact but tells himself Louis just needs some affection. He squeezes his hand tightly, looks back up at him and tries to convey that he’s trustful, that he only wants to help. But then Lou is stroking his thumb intimately on the inside of Liam’s hand and he gasps, realizing that Lou has misread his intentions.

 

“Louis…” Liam begins, even though he isn’t even sure what he’s going to say, pulling his hand softly out of Louis’ grip.

 

“I’m sorry!” Louis blurts out immediately, before Liam can even finish his thought. “I’m so stupid…” Louis rests his forehead in his hands, backing away from Liam slightly, “maybe I should just go.”

 

“No!” Liam finds himself insisting, hand moving to Lou’s shoulder. He probably shouldn’t be touching him after what just happened but he can’t help himself. “I want you to stay… you just… you can’t.”

 

He knows it’s a shitty explanation but it’s all that he has right now. If he says the actual words it will only make things worse.

 

“Are you not… into guys?” Louis asks sheepishly but Liam’s already shaking his head.

 

“No… I am.”

 

This information clearly surprises Louis and he shakes his own soon after, “then why…”

 

The way that Louis is standing there looking at him, eyes shining and wearing Liam’s own clothes, is almost breathtaking. Liam would be lying if he said he didn’t want something to happen. But Liam berates himself for even thinking it, knowing just how wrong these thoughts are.

 

“You’re underage, Louis. It wouldn’t be right.”

 

Of course that’s not the only problem. Louis may not even know what he really wants and Liam would never want to take advantage of him. Maybe Louis isn’t even gay? He’s been sexually abused by men in the past, he’s could just be confused and looking for comfort?

 

Louis sighs, taking a deep breath before creating more distance between them. “You’re right… I’m sorry. “

 

Liam smiles weakly at him, appreciates the gesture.

 

“It’s pretty late; maybe you should get some sleep?”

 

Louis is nodding, turning around slowly and heading back to the guest room. “Thanks Liam.”

 

 

Even when Louis is gone Liam can still feel the pressure of his fingertips against his palm.

 

Liam is fucked.

 

\--

 

Louis is actually still there the next morning when Liam wakes up which is a bit of a surprise and Liam’s thankful he didn’t try running again after what happened the night before.

 

Liam gently knocks on his door and Louis responds “come in” in a soft voice.

 

Liam enters slowly and is about to speak but he’s caught off guard when he finds Louis standing there in only a towel, hair soaked and body dripping with water.

 

Liam tries his hardest not to stare.

 

“Sorry, I took a shower… hope you don’t mind?” He says it so innocently and Liam has to remind himself that he’s just seventeen.

 

“No problem.” Liam says quickly, forcing his gaze to Louis’ eyes. “Just wanted to let you know there’s breakfast on the table if you wanted any.”

 

“Thanks” Louis smiles and Liam’s out the door in a hurry, trying not to think about how domestic this all feels.

 

\--

 

There’s a tiny bit of weirdness still left between them when they eat and even though Liam knows they should probably talk about what almost happened between them the night before he can’t seem to force the conversation. He doesn’t want to push Louis away further or embarrass him.

 

 

It turns into a regular thing after that, Louis coming over to his house. And each time that it happens Liam tries his hardest not to pry, refusing to ask the questions that he wants. He’s just relieved that Louis has somewhere to go now; thankful that he’s no longer going off with creepy older men.

 

Louis is mostly fine when he appears late at night, often times heading straight to bed once Liam opens his doors for him.

 

But tonight, when Louis enters Liam’s apartment in a rush, it’s different. Louis is shaky and can’t stand still. It’s unnerving and Liam immediately tugs on his shirt, pulling him inwards and into a tight hug.

 

Contact is almost second nature to them now and he knows it’ll instantly calm Louis.

 

He hates seeing Louis like this. Hates how selfishly happy he feels every time Louis shows up at his door when he should be feeling distraught.

 

If it weren’t for Lou’s pleading and the safety of his brothers, Liam would be turning in Lou’s foster parents in a heartbeat. He’d be doing everything he could to bring them down. But Lou’s trust is more important to him. He made a promise and he was going to stick to his word.

 

“Want to tell me what happened this time?” He knows he shouldn’t pry, but he can’t help it. The words slip out before Liam can stop himself. He holds Louis as his fingers tangle gently into the hair behind his ears. He can hear Lou’s breathing slow but he doesn’t say a word.

 

Liam’s tried his hardest lately not to overstep his bounds but he’s used to Louis not answering his questions when he does. He should stop asking all together but he hopes maybe someday he’ll be able to break through Louis’ giant wall. Louis ignores the question.

 

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” escapes from him instead and Liam instantly freezes.

 

He pulls back to look at Louis and the confusion he feels must be plastered all over his face because Louis is pulling completely out of his grip and speaking quickly.

 

“Just to sleep… I swear” He responds and it almost hurts.

 

Liam wants to say no. He knows that he should. Somehow allowing Louis in his bed seems like crossing a line but it’s near impossible to say no. Louis’ eyes are red and he looks exhausted.

 

“It’d just be nice to have some company, you know?”

 

Liam knows exactly what he means.

 

\--

 

They watch a movie.

 

Well, mostly the movie plays in the background while Liam watches Louis sleep. He’s curled tightly at the edge of Liam’s bed, like he’s afraid of getting too close and his breathing gets heavier as time passes. Liam’s grateful that he manages to actually get some sleep. He needs it.

 

Liam knows that it’s wrong, sharing his bed like this. Knows that he shouldn’t spend minutes just watching.

 

He reminds himself that Louis needs this. Not him.

 

\--

 

Now every time that Louis comes over he suggests a movie and it turns into an excuse; the reason for Louis to be able to fall asleep in Liam’s bed without making it weird for either of them.

 

Liam easily goes along with it and eventually even finds himself suggesting it half of the time. But Liam always keeps his distance. There’s always an overwhelming amount of space left between them on the bed. An invisible boundary.

 

One of the only few that’s left.

 

 

\--

 

One night Louis ends up staying over on a weekend, which has never happened before and Liam finds himself instantly awake the next morning, Louis still sleeping silently next to him.

 

He realizes he has nothing to get up for today. No excuse to get Louis moving and out of the house. It’s 8 am and Liam tries to force himself to go back to sleep, but it’s impossible. Not with Louis’ sleeping body next to him, the light from outside just barely framing his face and lighting his golden locks. He looks breathtaking.

 

Liam wills the thought away.

 

Liam wants to reach out and touch him. Brush Louis’ hair away from his eyes and feel the skin on his cheek. Test to see if it’s as soft as it looks. But then Louis is opening his eyes and Liam turns his head away immediately, embarrassed to be caught staring.

 

If Louis notices he doesn’t say anything. Just hums contently before speaking. “Mornin’” He says, voice gravely and low and it makes Liam’s stomach churn.

 

“Morning.” He replies softly, turning to smile at Louis then. It’s silent for a moment and Liam wonders what should happen next. He’s about to ask if Lou wants breakfast but then Louis is sitting up in bed and crossing his arms.

 

“Why do you care so much?” He says suddenly, staring straight ahead at the wall and Liam has to catch his breath.

 

“What do you mean?” He asks simply, hoping his voice is steady.

 

“Why do you care so much about me? Why are you helping?” Louis finally looks at him. “I mean, surely, there have been other kids… why me?”

 

It’s true. Liam’s been a social worker for a long time. There have been plenty of kids in similar or worse situations. Louis is the first one that he’s let into his life so fully and to this extent.

 

“I don’t know.” Liam says honestly. “There’s something about you.”

 

He realizes how that sounds when Louis blinks, looking at him curiously, waiting for him to continue.

 

“Something that makes me want to help.”

 

He knows it’s a shitty explanation but he hopes that Louis understands and it’s obvious that he does when Louis just smiles at him softly and shifts back down onto the pillow.

 

Liam wants him to stay. Wants to sink down into the bed and close his eyes and fall asleep to Louis’ breathing right next to him.

 

But he forces himself to get out of bed.

 

“I’ll make you breakfast before you go.” Liam smiles and walks out of the room.

 

\--

 

Liam is content with the relationship that he has with Louis. He likes that he can be there for the boy when he needs him. He feels like, in some way, he’s really helping Louis, even if he’s still stuck in a terrible home.

 

But Liam hasn’t seen a single bruise on Louis in weeks, and Louis hasn’t come over crying or upset, so Liam hopes that maybe it’s getting better for him.

 

The only thing preventing Liam from taking down his foster parents is the promise that he made to Louis to protect his brothers and keep them all together. That, and the fact that Louis will be turning 18 soon enough and hopefully will be out of the house.

 

\--

 

Liam trails Louis occasionally… drives around and checks up on things just to make sure that nothing feels out of place.

 

One day he watches from afar when Louis exits his school building, but this time, he’s not alone. There’s another boy with him, he’s quite a bit taller than Louis with dark shaggy hair and dark eyes.

 

They talk closely for a while and somehow Liam feels like he’s intruding on something.

 

He drives home and tries his hardest not to let his brain go crazy thinking about who this person is and what he means to Louis.

 

 

The next day Liam offers to give Liam a ride home, and as he’s waiting, the same boy exits the building with Louis. Louis enters the car and smiles at Liam, “you don’t have to do this you know? I can walk home, it’s not that far.”

 

Liam only smiles and say that it’s no big deal, that he likes helping out.

 

When they get to the house Louis unbuckles quickly and grabs his things, muttering a quiet “thanks” before he reaches for the door.

 

“Wait.” Liam says suddenly, no longer able to keep the question from slipping from his mouth. “That boy back there, the one you were talking to… who is that?”

 

He tries to ask the question as calmly as he can muster but he’s not sure how it’s sounding to Louis, and if the expression on his face is anything to go by, he’s probably giving himself away. Louis just laughs. “He’s a friend.”

 

He emphasizes the word, as if he knows exactly what Liam is implying. “we actually grew up together… in the foster system.”

 

Liam only nods after that, not really sure what else to say.

 

“Are you... into him?” Liam asks lamely and regrets the question as soon as it’s out of his mouth. It’s not really his business is it? And asking Louis about it isn’t very appropropriate.

 

But again, Louis only laughs. “Um… not really.” He looks down after he says it and Liam wonders what not really means.

 

“Well, does he like you?” Liam tries to ask in the most platonic possible way.

 

“No.” Louis answers quickly. “I mean, I doubt it. Why would he be interested in me?”

 

The way that he says it absolutely breaks Liam’s heart. Louis is so special… if only he could see it.

 

“Because.” Liam replies instantly, without even thinking. It’s a simple statement but the meaning is pretty loaded. He wonders if Louis can figure out what he means by it.

 

The drive back is deadly silent and as Louis gathers his things Liam tries to break the tension.

 

“You know…” Liam says quickly, trying to appear more casual, “you could invite him over sometime, if you wanted? Have somewhere you can actually hang out and you don’t have to deal with any of the other crap.”

 

“What are you doing?” Louis asks curiously.

 

“What do you mean?” Liam asks.

 

“Why are trying to hook me up with this guy?”

 

“I’m not.” Liam says quickly. Louis looks frustrated and grabs his things in a hurry, opening the door. “I just want you to be happy.” He wonders if Louis even hears because he's suddenly turning around.

 

“I am.” He smiles softly and shuts the door.

 

Liam has to take a breath before driving away.

 

\--

 

The tension and flirtation between Liam and Louis after that seems incredibly heightened and Liam isn’t exactly sure when things shifted. He’s been able to think of nothing else but Louis’ comment about being happy. Was it because of him?

 

It was a constant struggle for Liam not to let his mind wander onto these things…after all, they didn’t matter. Liam could never actually be with Louis. But despite his reservations he still couldn’t say no to him. He couldn’t tell him to leave his house, or not to sleep in his bed. He couldn’t prevent the feelings that appeared every time Louis’ hand brushed against his or Louis looked at him in that certain Louis way.

 

Liam tries his absolute hardest to focus his energy on absolutely anything else but its proving impossible.

 

\--

 

Louis seems happier with each day and even though it’s dangerous (because it means that Liam will only fall harder) it’s really nice to see.

 

“You know that guy at school you asked me about?” Louis says suddenly one night when they are watching tv, surprising Liam.

 

“Yeah?…” Liam responds, wondering what Louis could possibly say next.

 

“He’s not gay.” Louis says simply and Liam once again feels like an idiot for ever bringing it up in the first place. “And even if he were,” Louis continues, I like someone else.”

 

Liam’s not sure why Louis decided to bring this up now, but he can’t even dwell on that, he’s too startled by Lou’s words.

 

 _I like someone else_.

 

It’s a simple statement but the way that Louis says it, strong and voice completely steady, makes Liam wonder.

 

He desperately wants to ask him who but Liam is afraid that he might already know the answer. And he knows that he’s not allowed to go there.

 

Louis only smiles at him then, clearly knowing that his words have gotten to Liam. “I think I’m gonna sleep in the guest room tonight…” he says quietly and turns, leaving Liam in silence.

 

It appears that Louis knows exactly what he’s doing.

 

\--

 

All night Liam tosses and turns. His mind is on overload thinking about Louis and the things that he’s said and how he looked when he said it. The little smirk that showed on his face when he walked out of the room replays over and over in Liam’s mind. He tries absolutely everything that he can to just ignore the thoughts, push them so far down that they will never be thought of again, but it’s a lost cause.

 

The harder Liam tries to will them away… the harder _he_ gets.

 

Liam realizes that it’s been almost a week since he’s gotten off. He’s had Louis in his bed every night and he hasn’t exactly had the opportunity to do anything about his recent obsession. But he’s alone now and before he can even think about what he’s doing his hand is creeping lower and into his boxer shorts. He wraps a hand around himself instantly, tugging on his cock gently at first, trying to let his mind wander to other things but Louis’ face keeps appearing in his mind and it’s only sexually frustrating Liam that much more.

 

The longer he strokes the less will power he has to stop himself. He’s way too hard and way too worked up to care at this point so he lets the thoughts enter his head, imagining Louis' hand on himself right now instead of his own.

 

Liam imagines Louis right here in his bed, hovering over Liam’s body, his small fingers wrapped tightly around his cock. He imagines Louis placing kisses against his skin, trailing lower and lower on his stomach until his mouth is replacing his fingers.

 

Just the thought alone makes Liam’s entire body feel like it’s on fire and he can’t even imagine how the real thing would feel.

 

 

Liam should be embarrassed at how easily he comes, fluid coating his fingers as the dirty thoughts slowly fade from his head. He holds still for a moment as he comes down from his high. He feels way too good right now.

 

Liam is way too tired to clean up his mess and figures he will deal with it in the morning, turning over onto his side and quickly drifting to sleep.

 

\--

 

Liam feels guilty about it for weeks after that and even though his thoughts are his own he still feels like it’s wrong somehow.

 

But as it gets closer and closer to Louis’ eighteenth birthday Liam can’t help but feel anxious. Once Louis is an adult he’ll be able to make his own decisions. He’ll be free to do as he pleases.

 

Liam tries his hardest not to think about what that could possibly mean for them and reminds himself that it still wouldn't work.

 

\--

 

The day of Lou’s birthday is extremely awkward.

 

Liam wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to get him something or not, but in the end he decided to. After all, they were practically living together and it was safe to say they were almost like best friends at this point.

 

He decides not to go too extreme and gets Louis a few gifts cards.

 

He has one other thing that he’s waiting to give Louis but he’s afraid of how the gesture may come off so he decides against wrapping it.

 

Liam had left the giftcards on the counter for Louis in the morning, along with a cupcake and small card that didn’t really say much of anything at all except something along the lines of “I’m glad you’re around.”

 

Louis had smiled awkwardly at him, but it was clear he appreciated the gesture. He looked genuinely happy, even though it’s nothing special and Liam just kinda shrugs.

 

“I’m pretty terrible with gifts so…”

 

Louis just laughs and puts the gifts in his bag, making sure to grab the cupcake from the counter. It’s the last time that Liam will be seeing Louis for a while and he tries not to feel any sadness over that fact.

 

Louis has the unfortunate fate of having a birthday the day before Christmas and even though he swore never to return to his foster home after he was eighteen he told Liam he wanted to spend it with his brothers.

 

Liam plans to travel a few hours north to be with his family, and even though Louis was invited he gently declined. He wanted to check up on things and make sure things at the flat were going okay.

 

“Well, I hope you have a good time with your brothers and you can always call me if something comes up. I’ll only be a few hours away.” Liam smiles, trying his hardest not to sound like an over protective father.

 

“Thanks… but I’ll be okay.” Louis says, placing his bag over his shoulder as he heads out the door.

 

“One more thing…” Liam says softly, reaching into his pocket before he decides against it. “Here.”

 

Louis’ face is twisted into what looks like confusion as Liam hands over a small metal key, gently placing it into Louis’ palm.

 

Their hands brush gently as Liam pulls away. Louis is looking up at him with a strange expression that Liam can’t quite read.

 

“It’s a key… to the apartment. I figured you needed one since… you know…”

 

It’s not a secret that Louis is practically living there, but they’ve never actually talked about it before and actually giving Louis a key to the place is a pretty big gesture. One Liam hopes he doesn’t misread. It’s just convenient.

 

“Liam… you don’t have to…”

 

“Yes I do.” Liam cuts him off, smiling brightly. “It’s just a key, okay?” He says again, hoping to make his words clear.

 

Louis only nods, his fingers gripping the metal tightly before placing it into his palm.

 

“So, I guess I’ll see you when you get back?” Louis asks before stepping out the door.

 

“Of course.” Liam says with conviction, unsure of what to do with his hands.

 

“Merry Christmas Louis.” He says slowly. Trying hard not to think about how sad he is that they can’t spend it together.

 

“Merry Christmas Liam.” Louis smiles, walking out the door.

 

\--

 

Christmas break is exactly the vacation that Liam needed but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to get back home. And if he leaves a few days early, it’s not because of Louis.

 

It’s not.

 

 

When Liam gets home Louis is there, asleep on the couch. It warms Liam’s heart to find him there, in his apartment… as if he were there waiting for him.

 

Liam tries to be quiet but when the door shuts he can hear Louis wrestling around and he knows that he’s woken him.

 

“Hey sleepyhead.” Liam says softly and Louis smiles at him as he sits, his hair a mess on top of his head and rubbing his eyes.

 

“How as your trip?” Louis asks and Liam sits next to him on the couch, careful not to sit too close. For the next 10 minutes they talk about their breaks and what they got (although Liam downplays some of the gifts).

 

“I thought you were staying a few more days? Why’d you decide to come back?” Louis asks him and Liam looks down, not sure how to reply.

 

“Just, missed this place I guess.” Liam replies, hoping that Louis wont catch the hitch in his voice at the small lie. Truth is, the apartment isn’t the only thing that he’s missed.

 

“I’m glad you had an okay time with your brothers,” Liam says quietly, “was a little worried about you.”

 

The tension in the room is a little strained after that and Liam’s not sure if its because he admitted that he was worried for Louis or if Louis felt weird about his family and that entire situation. But after a few minutes Louis is speaking again…

 

“It was okay. My foster parents actually seemed to be in better moods and things were good.”

 

“That’s great Louis.” Liam tries to say without the sadness in his voice.

 

“Yeah, it was great to see my brothers but…” he pauses and Liam waits for him to continue. “I kinda missed you.”

 

Liam resists looking at Louis. He doesn’t want to give himself away. He forces himself not to say anything back. “I was kinda hoping we’d spend Christmas together.” Louis says even quieter and Liam can hear the sadness in his voice.

 

He wants to reach out, comfort him, but he knows that he cant.

 

“Maybe next year?” Liam says softly, hoping that it’s enough.

 

Liam stands then, attempting to get most of his things and move them into his room.

 

“You think I’m still gonna be here next year?” Louis says to his back and it stops Liam in his tracks.

 

“I hope so.” He says quietly and turns back to Louis. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything for Christmas.”

 

It’s a little random but Liam says it anyway, just to fill the silence.

 

“You’ve given me so much already, Liam.”

 

Liam smiles, thankful for Louis’ kind words, but the tension is getting to be too much. Liam’s beginning to feel a little suffocated with the way that Louis is looking at him and he can’t take it for much longer. He has to get out of the room.

 

He goes to grab his stuff from the floor and in a second Louis is right behind him, hands moving to reach down. “Let me help you.” Louis says right into his ear and he’s way too close.

 

Liam stares down at him and Louis is just looking at him, his eyes big and bright and his hair still a mess. Liam can’t help but think about how gorgeous he looks right now. How badly he wants to kiss him. His eyes move downwards, his gaze is focused on Louis’s lips and Louis is getting closer to him by the second. They are just inches away from kissing before Liam lowers his head, his forehead bumping into Lou’s softly. He doesn’t say anything but Louis knows he’s being rejected.

 

“Liam… I’m eighteen.” He says simply, as if that were enough. Hoping his words will actually mean something. But Liam can’t let it go. He can’t take advantage.

 

“It’s still not right.” Liam says quietly, grabbing his bag out of Louis’s grip roughly and heading towards his room.

 

“Liam, stop.” Louis says with more urgency, his hand flat against Liam’s arm now, gripping tightly. “I don’t get why you are pushing me away. If this is about my family… I mean… you’re not even on the case anymore…”

 

“Yes I am!” Liam shouts, and it clearly takes Louis back. “I’m not done fighting for that…”

 

“What are you talking about?” Louis asks with more anger in his voice, “you said you were going to let it go…”

 

Liam doesn’t reply. He knows what he’s said. But he’s not sure that he can. “I want you to come forward.”

 

Liam says as calmly as possible, but it does no good, Louis is fuming now. “I can’t believe you are bringing this up again! I told you that Christmas was fine… they were fine!” Louis says, and its clear that he’s trying to convince himself.

 

“Come on Louis!” Liam urges back. “You come forward and your bothers will be placed in different homes! They wont have to live in fear anymore…”

 

“I’m keeping an eye on them….” Louis tries to say but Liam cuts him off.

 

“It’s not enough! Now that you’re eighteen and you’re out of the house you aren’t there to protect them all the time. Don’t you get it? They have no one to take their anger out on anymore. And even if you were still there do you think I would let that happen?!” He can tell that his words are finally getting through to Louis. “Look, I haven’t said anything for a while because I haven’t seen any bruises on you and I wanted to keep your trust but I don’t think I can keep my mouth shut anymore. It just wouldn’t be right. The entire vacation I couldn’t even relax because I was so worried about you. And them.”

 

Louis is still a little hesitant but he’s beginning to soften and Liam can see that he’s struggling. Against his better judgement Liam walks over to him and grabs a hold of his shoulders, looking right at him. “I’ll help them. I’ll find good homes for them Louis. I promise you. I’ll tell you where they are, you can go and visit them whenever you want. I’ll do everything in my power to protect them, you have to trust me. Please.”

 

Louis’s gaze is focused downwards but after Liam’s speech he looks up at Liam, tears in his eyes. “Okay.” Louis says quietly and Liam pulls him into a hug.

 

It may be a long process to prove that his parents are guilty but with Louis’ testimony and Liam helping him through it he knows that they can make it happen.

 

Liam continues to sooth Louis with his words and soon after they head into Liam’s room.

 

“You might even be able to be their legal guardian some day…” Liam tells him. “If you get a job and show that you can support them, you can do it. I’ll help you… if you that’s what you want.”

 

“It is.” Louis says to him and Liam agrees to help him find work once he’s done with school.

 

“You have to get your grades up though…”

 

“I’ll do it.” Louis says with conviction and Liam knows that he means it.

 

 

Eventually the two drift off to sleep and Liam finally feels like he can breathe again.

 

\---

 

Liam picks up Louis the next day and is surprised when he notices him with the same boy he had seen him with before Christmas. This time however, things don’t look so pleasant between the two and Liam can see that they are visibly arguing with one another. Liam pulls the car around closer than he would have otherwise and the two boys suddenly stop mid-argue, staring at Liam as he waits.

 

Louis says one final thing and runs over the car, getting in quickly and slamming the door. Liam knows it’s not his business but he can’t help prying, eying Louis subtly before pulling out of the parking lot.

 

“What was that about?” Liam asks quietly, keeping his eyes on the road in front of him.

 

Louis sighs, then replies shortly, “nothing.” Liam looks over at him, who returns eye contact before continuing, “it’s nothing okay.”

 

“Louis, come on…” Liam urges and Louis clearly believes that he wont give up because he’s finally explaining.

 

“His brother and my brother just… don’t get along. I was defending my brother, that’s all.” Louis tries to play it off like it’s nothing but Liam is still concerned.

 

“That’s great that you were defending him Louis, but you gotta stay out of trouble.”

 

“We were just talking…” Louis tries to say, but Liam cuts him off.

 

“Which could have escalated if I wasn’t there.”

 

Liam can tell Louis is frustrated with him but he says “okay” quietly and Liam can tell that he understands.

 

\--

 

“Can you explain it one more time?” Louis asks, his voice sounding strained as he looks over at Liam.

 

Liam can tell that he's starting to get frustrated. He’s trying his hardest to understand but algebra clearly is not his strong suit and Liam’s trying to explain but he’s not sure he’s doing a good enough job. He’s a little distracted by the way Louis is sucking on his pen right in front of him.

 

“Maybe we should take a break and get back to it?” Liam says softly, trying to relieve some of the frustration he can feel radiating from Louis.

 

“No, i have to get this. I need to ace this stupid quiz tomorrow!” Louis waves his arm around, trying to prove a point but accidentally hits himself with the pen he was holding and Liam cant help but laugh as it falls to the table, a huge black mark now striked on Louis’ face.

 

Both of the boys laugh as Louis tries to rapidly scrub the marker from his face.

 

“Let me get it.” Liam says without thinking, licking his finger and putting it to Louis’ face.

 

“Ew” Louis says loudly but he doesn’t back away as Liam helps wipe the ink from his cheek.

 

Liam knows he needs to stop doing things like this; things that put him in these ridiculously tension filled situations with Louis where he is only inches from his face. He looks right at Louis and Louis is staring at his lips, inching his way forward the slightest bit…

 

“Don’t.” Liam says abruptly, pulling away from Louis and trying to focus back on the text book in front of him.

 

“Don’t what?” Louis asks, as if he doesn’t know what Liam means.

 

“Try to kiss me.” Liam replies honestly. “I don’t want to make things harder for you.”

 

“Make things harder for me?” Louis retorts. “Why? You think because I’m so screwed up already I don’t need one more thing on my plate?”

 

“No!” Liam almost yells, standing up. “I don’t think you’re messed up I just… I think you might be confused.”

 

“Confused?” Louis asks. “About what?”

 

“I don’t know,” Liam stutters. “Maybe you only think you want this because I’ve been such a good friend to you.”

 

Then Louis laughs and it startles Liam. He definitely wasn’t expecting that.

 

“That’s not it.” Louis insists, standing. “I just… I think I love you.”

 

The words hit Liam like a ton of bricks and he’s not really sure how to respond.

 

He doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to process all of this.

 

“Look Liam. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I’m not using you for some sort of… comfort thing, okay? I’m eighteen years old… old enough to make my own decisions. I’m not part of the foster system anymore and sure, you’re still on my brothers case but you’re not on mine anymore. I’m an adult now.” He walks over to Liam, only stopping once he’s right in front of him. “And so are you. So, if we both want this then… what’s stopping us?”

 

He is standing so close to Liam and his words make complete sense and all Liam wants to do is lean in and shut him up but there’s still something nagging at him.

 

“But you’re still in high school.” Louis sighs loudly, clearly frustrated and he turns the other way in defeat. “I still feel like I’d be taking advantage of someone that’s clearly been abused…”

 

“How long are you gonna hold that over me? God, Liam!” Louis raises his voice. “Who I was then has no bearing on who I am now… who I became after I met you. I never had a real relationship before…”

 

“And maybe that’s the problem!” Liam interrupts.

 

Louis chuckles at that. “I’ve done things you can’t even imagine. So if this is about sex then don’t worry. I’m probably more experienced then you.”

 

“Whoa,” Liam says shocked at where this conversation has lead. “You are way off base, this isn’t about sex. The exact opposite of that, actually. This is about emotion. Intimacy. You may technically be an adult now Louis but you weren’t when I met you. You were just a kid. Struggling. Going through some really tough things.”

 

Louis is looking right at Liam now, giving him his full attention.

 

“I was a mentor to you. In an authority position. And we…” Liam pauses, not even able to bring himself to finish what he was going to say. “It just can’t happen.”

 

Louis swallows hard then, not even attempting to argue.

 

“You know I think I’ll finish this in my room.” Louis says shortly, grabbing up his things and walking out. Liam wants to go after him but he knows that he probably shouldn’t. Right now, its for the best.

 

——

 

There’s a bit of awkwardness between them after that, but at this point Liam’s pretty used to it. It’s getting harder and harder to turn Louis away. Luckily, the trial is getting closer and there’s a lot of things to think about and prepare for. Liam knows that Louis is going through a lot emotionally and he’s trying to be there for him in the best way that he knows how to.

 

 

The morning of the trial Louis is extremely quiet and Liam wonders if he’s truly ready for this. It’s a lot… going on the stand and answering questions in front of everyone.

 

“You ready?” Liam asks, putting a hand on Louis’ shoulder and rubbing gently.

 

“Yes.” Louis says confidently, walking away from Liam and out of his grasp.

 

\--

 

Things go relatively smooth and even though Louis is a little shaken up he knows he did what he had to do. His foster siblings are safe, they’re are going to be placed with another family and his parents were sent away.

 

“I know that was tough Louis, but everything gonna be alright now. I’ll make sure that your brothers are placed near to you… hopefully in the same home. Things will be okay.”

 

He hopes his words mean enough, even though in situations like this it’s hard to be much help, but the look on Lou’s face shows that he’s appreciative.

 

\--

 

Louis finds his way into Liam’s bed again that night and for the first time Liam allows him into his arms.

 

He knows that Louis needs this tonight. Maybe they both do.

 

Things should feel weird somehow but they don’t, it feels completely natural having the smaller boy, now a man, in his arms.

 

There’s so much tension in the room, it could be cut with a knife but Liam tries his hardest to ignore it; manages to fall asleep once he hears Louis breathing softly beside him.

 

The next morning he wakes up to Louis flat against his back, arms draped around him and Louis’ breath on the back of his neck.

 

Liam doesn’t want to move. He wants to stay in this moment for as long as he possibly can.

 

\--

 

It’s a Tuesday afternoon when Louis rushes home, slamming the door with intent and he plops next to Liam on the couch, a huge grin on his face. He pulls something from behind his back and throws it down on the table, its a small black hat, yellow hassle dangling brightly from the top.

 

“Louis, what is…” Liam begins but Louis is interrupting, body radiating with glee.

 

“It’s official. I’m gonna graduate.”

 

He looks absolutely beautiful, eyes crinkled and smile big and Liam stands immediately, pulling him in.

 

“Oh my god, Louis, I’m so happy for you!”

 

He can’t believe that Louis actually did it, that he actually managed to turn his grades around after everything that’s happened this year.

 

“I can’t believe it!” Lou says into his ear and Liam pulls away slowly, grinning.

 

“I can.” Liam smiles down at him and his eyes shift even further down, Louis smiling widely back at him.

 

“It’s because of you” Louis says. And it’s only now that Liam can feel Louis’ hands gripping his arms tightly, pulling him in close.

 

Before Liam can even respond Louis is leaning in, forcing his lips on Liam’s, fingertips pushing into his skin with more force, not letting Liam go.

 

But Liam isn’t fighting it this time. He can’t manage to actually kiss back, he’s in shock over what’s happening and it’s not until Louis is pulling away the slightest amount and whispering, “please, don’t push me away” and then dipping back in that Liam can finally reciprocate.

 

He thinks about everything Louis has been through. How they met, the person that Louis was before all of this. How much he’s changed. He’s actually managed to turn his life around and it makes Liam so proud. Somehow knowing that he will be graduating soon makes all of this a little easier on Liam and he lets himself get lost in the moment.

 

He pries at Lou’s lips just the slightest bit and Louis is opening his mouth wider, letting Liam in.

 

Liam’s hands find the back of Louis neck and he wonders if he's pressing too hard, if he’s pushing too much.

 

But the sounds Louis are making are encouraging Liam and he can’t stop this now.

 

He pulls away for a second and Louis looks defeated, as if he thinks that Liam is going to resist again but instead Liam’s turning him around, pushing him downwards onto he couch.

 

Almost immediately after Louis’ back hits the leather Liam can feel his hands on his hips, brushing the skin just lightly where his shirt has rucked up a bit.

 

It’s a little cold in the room but Lou’s hands are cold and Liam loves how they feel against his flesh.

 

Liam’s body is moving on instinct and he can’t stop himself from reaching between them, fingers playing with the waist of Louis’ jeans. He probably shouldn’t be doing this but he can’t stop himself and he needs more from Louis. He’s been waiting for this for so long.

 

He gets his jeans undone with ease, tugging on them gently in an attempt to get them off. But they don’t go very far because Liam’s noticing a very dark, very obvious bruise on his left lower hip.

 

“What is that?” Liam says, abruptly halting things from going any further.

 

“Nothing.” Louis says in a rush, grabbing the back of Liam’s neck and pulling, trying to distract him from what he’s just seen.

 

“Are you sure?” Liam asks with worry.

 

“Yes. I just ran into a table, no big deal.” Louis says again, fingers threading through Liam’s hair. His touch his soft and his face is genuine so Liam chooses to believe him.

 

Liam kisses him again after that and soon things resume between them, their kisses getting more and more intense. Liam’s body is pressed down on top of Lou’s with much more force than before and Lou is tugging his hair even tighter. Liam pulls back for a second, turning his face to Louis’ wrist and places a kiss there too.

 

But when he opens his eyes and sees another mark on Louis’ arm he pulls away, sitting up immediately. Liam grabs his sleeve, pulling it up quickly, discovering more bruises littering his entire arm. “What the hell Louis?” Liam almost yells, still holding onto him. It's like deja vu, reminding Liam of that time he found bruises all over Louis' arms in the cafe.

 

“Did you think I would’t notice these?”

 

Louis sighs, frustrated. “It’s not like I thought anything was going to happen with us tonight.”

 

“Yeah, well it’s not.” Liam says with more force, standing from the couch.

 

“Liam, where are you…” But Liam doesn’t let him finish.

 

“Who were you fighting with? Are you keeping secrets from me?”

 

“No _dad_.” Louis responds harshly and it pisses Liam off even more.

 

“Then tell me what happened!” Liam yells.

 

“It was nothing.” Louis says and Liam just glares at him. “I got in a fight.”

 

“You what?” Liam asks, not believing his ears.

 

“These guys at school were being jerks okay? They were talking crap about my brothers and everything thats been going on. I couldn’t let them get away with that.”

 

“Yes you could have!” Liam throws his arms out “You could have just walked away.”

 

“It’s not that big of a deal. Stop overreacting.” Louis says and Liam cuts him off.

 

“I’m not overreacting Louis. This is bullshit. Do you want to get your life together or not?” He almost wants to take the words back when he sees Louis cringe. He knows that he’s struck a nerve.

 

“You can’t be getting into these stupid fights okay? I thought you were more mature than that.” Liam takes a breath, walking away from Louis to create some space. “This was a bad idea, you’re not ready for this.”

 

He’s being especially hard on Louis but he can’t help himself, he’s so angry with him right now. He doesn’t have to see his foster parents again, his brothers are safe, he’s graduating… he has everything going for him right now and he’s throwing it away on a stupid fight. A fight that could have gotten him expelled. If Louis really wanted to be with him he should have thought about the consequences of his actions.

 

“You don’t get it Liam!” Louis screams, standing and re-buttoning his jeans. “You didn’t know what it was like to grow up like me. You had a perfect fucking life with everything fucking handed to you.”

 

He stomps over the front door and opens it in a flash.

 

“You can’t change in a day okay? But I’m trying! And if you can’t see than then maybe you’re right. Maybe this was a fucking mistake.”

 

“Louis wait!” Liam tries to yell, but he’s already walking out the door. “Where are you going?”

 

“It’s not your business anymore!” Louis screams, throwing his key onto the floor and slamming the door shut.

 

\--

 

It takes Liam about fifteen minutes to calm down but once he really starts to think about things and reflect on what happened he feels extremely stupid for letting things get so out of hand. It’s freezing cold outside and raining cats and dogs and he let Louis just leave like that. Liam has absolutely no idea where he would even go and he doesn’t want to think about it.

 

He hasn’t forgotten about Lou’s past and the things he used to have to do to stay in a warm bed.

 

Liam’s kicking himself for even letting Louis walk out the door but part of him thought that he wouldn’t actually get very far.

 

Liam rushes to the front door, grabbing his coat and his keys and slamming it shut behind him. He has to find Louis and he has no idea where to even start.

 

 

He drives around the block a few times thinking that maybe Louis just needed to sit somewhere to think but he has no luck and drives a little bit farther out, starting to worry.

 

He only gets a few blocks before he spots him. A dark figure with just a t-shirt on walking slowly in the rain and he has his arms crossed. He looks like he's shivering and Liam pulls up next to him, honking his horn. But Louis doesn’t even look at him, he’s clearly still pissed off and Liam slows, rolling his window down.

 

“Louis!” He yells out, almost coming to a complete stop and it’s obvious he’s being ignored when Louis keeps walking. “Hey, I’m sorry!” He shouts over the rain and Louis continues to ignore him. He’s soaking wet and it reminds Liam of one of the first times that he talked to Louis. When he’d picked him up after Louis had ran away from home. It’s crazy to think about how much Louis has grown since then, and how much everything has changed.

 

“Get in the car!” Liam yells.

 

Still nothing.

 

“Louis, I’m sorry! I overreacted. Can we talk about this?”

 

Louis finally slows then, turning to Liam and looking at him, like he’s still doubting whether or not to get in the car.

 

“Please come home?” Liam says, not even realizing what he’s just said until he sees Louis’ face change. But it’s true. Louis has been staying with him for months now and it’s where he belongs.

 

“Fine!” Louis finally yells back.

 

He opens the door in a hurry, getting in and facing back forward, refusing to look at Liam yet again. “But I’m only doing this because it’s cold. And I have no where else to go.”

 

Liam smiles to himself and turns the car around.

 

\--

 

They don’t speak the entire drive home and when finally get back inside Liam’s flat they are both freezing, Louis obviously more so, and Liam runs to his room get him some towels and fresh clothes.

 

By now, Louis has his own drawer but Liam ends up grabbing his own pajamas and when Louis enters the room, Liam hands them over quickly; Louis looking at Liam with an expression that Liam can’t quite read.

 

“They smell like you.” Louis says softly before tearing his wet shirt off and Liam immediately turns around, trying to give him some space. About and hour ago they were kissing and yet now Liam suddenly feels like he’s invading Louis’ privacy. Once again, Liam feels a flash of deja vu. He's been in a similar situation with Louis like this before.

 

“I’m sorry Louis.” Liam says to the wall and for a few seconds it’s silent and then Louis is finally speaking.

 

“I’m sorry too. Sorry I got in that fight.”

 

Liam turns for a second, but immediately looks back at the wall when he sees that Louis is completely naked now. He tries not to think about what he’s just seen and instead just waits as Louis keeps talking.

 

“It wasn’t even that big of a deal. We were just arguing and then the guy grabbed me and I swear I tried to walk away. He hit me a few times and I didn’t even hit back before he just gave up.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?” Liam asks and then Louis is walking over to him, standing right in front of him.

 

“Because you really piss me off sometimes.” Louis says and Liam can’t help but laugh at that. He hasn’t exactly been the easiest person to deal with.

 

“Okay. I understand.” Liam says quietly, trying his hardest not to look down at Louis who is still only half dressed, his pajama bottoms hanging loosely around Louis’ hips.

 

“You mean it Liam?” Louis asks, pleading in his eyes, “because I don’t want to disappoint you. All I want to do is prove to you that I’m worthy.”

 

“Louis.” Liam says, feeling bad. How could Louis think that he’s not worthy of Liam? That he’s not worthy of anyone? He hates to see Louis hurting like this and he squeezes his hands tighter. He moves even closer to Louis then, grabbing his hands. “You are. Of course you are.”

 

Louis is staring right at him, his eyes big and glassy, like they’re searching for something.

 

“I never let myself need people, Liam. And I don’t need you.” Liam sighs, wondering where this is going. “But I want you.”

 

And the way the words tumble out of Louis’ mouth are so breathy and filled with so much energy that Liam can’t stop himself from pulling Louis’ arm up to his face, so that he can kiss the bruise above his elbow gently, and slowly. He lets Louis’ arm drop slowly as he moves his hands to Louis’ head, pulling him in close. He’s tired of fighting this.

 

Louis is looking at him so sweetly and his breathing has intensified and it’s only a second that Liam looks at him before he’s leaning in and capturing his mouth in a kiss, expressing everything he’s feeling to Louis the only way he knows how to.

 

They kiss for a long time until Liam’s pulling Louis backward, the back of his knees hitting his bed frame. He sits on the edge, Louis still standing.

 

“Guess you’re not gonna need these.” Liam smiles as he reaches forward to undo the knot that’s holding Louis’ pajamas up. They fall quickly to the floor and Louis is completely naked now, standing in front of Liam as Liam just looks at him, admiring what’s finally right in front of him.

 

“Come here.” He whispers and parts his legs, allowing Louis to walk further in between them before he leans down and kisses Liam again, this time with much more force.

 

Liam’s trying his hardest to ignore Louis’ very obvious erection that’s right in front him because he’s trying to take things slow but it’s almost impossibly with Louis standing over him , fingertips pressed into his neck as he slips his tongue into Liam’s mouth.

 

“This is so not fair.” Louis whispers against him pulling back and moving his hands to Liam’s shirt. “I’m standing here naked and you’re still fully dressed.”

 

He tugs playfully at Liam’s shirt and Liam smiles back at him, saying okay before he starts unbuttoning his shirt. Louis is just watching him and even though Liam feels a little shy he’s also getting turned on, still in disbelief that he and Louis are actually doing this, finally.

 

It’s only a second after his shirt hits the floor that Louis’ lips are on his skin again, this time sucking gently around Liam’s nipple, his hands tangled in Liam’s hair. Then Louis is kissing down his chest, stopping only once he gets to the edge of Liam’s jeans. When he kneels on the floor Liam almost passes out.

 

Louis reaches forward quickly, tugging his jeans apart and dragging the zipper down with ease. Liam wonders if he’s trying to rush through this, like he’s worried if he takes his time that the moment might end but Liam’s already hard in his jeans and there’s no way he’s stopping this now.

 

Louis’ eyes light up when he notices and then he dips his head in, mouthing over Liam’s boxers right over his dick. The teasing is torturous but it feels amazing and Liam finds himself falling backwards, enjoying every second of this feeling.

 

Louis was definitely right when he said he has experience and when he pulls the waistband of Liam’s boxers up, darting his tongue out to flick softly against Liam’s cock, Liam almost loses it completely. His breathing is getting heavier and he wonders what Louis is thinking about all of this.

 

Liam lifts his head for a second, watching as Louis swipes his tongue at the head of his cock, licking up the pre come that’s gathered there. Louis drags the material of his boxers down so that they are resting just a little bit lower and the pressure on his balls is almost too intense.

 

Louis licks slowly before finally pulling his pants all the way off, moving Liam’s leg up just a little to get a better angle. Louis’ fingers are pressing against the skin inside of his leg and and his tongue is lapping at the base of Liam’s dick.

 

Liam can already feel himself getting closer but he doesn’t want this to end. He doesn’t want to come this way.

 

“Louis.” Liam says quietly and Louis finally moves then, actually getting on the bed. It’s like slow motion as Louis crawls over Liam, legs on either side of Liam’s waist. He can feel the bed dip with the pressure and Liam’s just watching as he moves.

 

Louis finds Liam’s hands quickly, grabbing them and pinning them over Liam’s head, smirking at him. Liam knows he could completely overtake Louis if he needed to but he lets the younger man entertain the idea of being stronger just for this moment.

 

Louis leans down and kisses him softly, but it soon intensifies. Eventually they are bucking against each other, Louis just as hard as he is and he’s dying to get any sort of friction going.

 

It’s when Louis’ lips drag against the edge of Liam’s jaw, near his ear that Liam surges and flips them over.

 

He loves seeing Louis in control but somehow this feels right, him being on top, taking charge. Protecting Louis is just in his nature.

 

Liam looks down at him, Louis’ beauty not lost on Liam. He’s always thought it, from the first second.

 

He leans away from Louis, reaching into the bedside drawer for the things that he needs and Louis is just looking up at him, ready for what’s about to happen.

 

Once he gets the liquid on his fingers his pushes his hand down between them, fingers gently rubbing against Louis’ skin before he’s sliding his them in, as slowly as he can manage. He knows how painful it is, even with experience, but Louis looks completely blissed out, his breathing getting heavier the more that Liam works his fingers in and out.

 

Before he even realizes whats happening Louis is reaching for the silver packet, getting it opened quickly and pushing it over Liam’s length. His fingers feel good against Liam’s dick and once he’s finished Louis reaches his hands around Liam’s neck, pulling him down into another kiss. He sucks on Liam’s lip sweetly, hands threading through Liam’s hair before pulling away just an inch.

 

“Do it.”

 

 

\--

 

There’s no going back now and Liam dips his head down, pressing kisses to Louis’ collar bone as he pushes himself in, hands gripping against Louis’ hips to hold him down. He wants to be as gentle as he possibly can, even if Louis has been here before.

 

It feels amazing and soon enough his thrusts get deeper, hips working faster. “I love you.” Liam spills, meaning every word.

 

He knows it’s cliche to say during sex but it’s true, and Louis needs to know how to feels. Needs him to know that Louis’ feelings are reciprocated. He hasn't forgotten that Louis whispered those same words to him not long ago.

 

He doesn’t get a response from Louis, because his hand is currently on Louis’ dick and he’s working Louis’ quickly, concentrating more on him then he is on himself, and Louis has clearly checked out, his face flushed and red. Liam can tell that he’s getting closer to his release, he can feel it with the way that Louis is moving beneath him.

 

Louis clutches his back, his nails scraping hard against the skin.

 

“Come on Lou, I wanna see.” He manages to get out and then Louis is coming, his fluid hitting Liam’s hand instantly. He strokes him through it before his hands move behind Louis’ head, concentrating on his own erection now.

 

His thrusts get more erratic but he he keeps going, spilling into the condom minutes later and falling on top of Louis, completely spent.

 

They don’t speak for a while, Liam laying on top of Louis, his face tucked into Louis neck and Louis is just dragging his fingers along Liam’s back softly, soothing him and helping him come down from his orgasm.

 

When Liam’s finally caught his breath he kisses Louis cheek, moving over and creating a little bit of space between them, allowing Louis to clean up the mess that’s still laced over his stomach.

 

“I told you we shoulda done this earlier.” Louis laughs, looking at Liam with wide eyes and an even wider smile.

 

\--

 

When Louis graduates Liam is standing at the back of the crowd, grinning proudly and even though he knows that Louis can’t spot him he hopes he knows that Liam is there, supporting him, like he always has.

 

\--

 

“You actually did it.” Liam smiles at him that night, once they’re holed up in Liam’s apartment, Louis spread out beneath him. Liam has him pinned but Louis is able to push him off playfully, Liam rolling to his side and grabbing Louis’ hand, holding it against his bare chest tightly.

 

“I can’t believe I’m a proper adult now.” Louis laughs, turning his body inwards to press against Liam. “I should probably start looking at universities huh?”

 

“I didn’t know that’s what you wanted.” Liam says, surprised.

 

“Maybe it is.” Louis says thoughfully, thinking. “Or I could get a job… help you pay rent..”

 

“No.” Liam interrupts. “No way. School is more important. And you don’t need to pay for anything okay? I want to help you. Let me.”

 

“Okay.” Louis says quietly, leaning in to kiss Liam on the lips softly. “I’m not sure what my future holds but I know it’s with you.”

 

“I like how that sounds.” Liam smiles back, pressing a kiss to Louis’ temple.

 

“We should probably get to sleep soon though, you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow.”

 

Louis beams at Liam then, “I can’t wait to see them.”

 

Louis’ brothers were finally placed in a home and their foster parents seemed like good people. Their house was only 25 minutes away from Liam’s and Louis was finally granted permission to visit. Liam knows how much he misses them and he’s happy to drive Louis there tomorrow so that they can spend the day together. At eighteen Liam knows that Louis is far from ready to take over legal guardianship but Liam has every intention of helping Louis get everything figured out.. when the time comes.

 

“They’ll be happy to see you too.” Liam whispers softly. “And we can visit whenever you want.”

 

“Thank you,” Louis smiles, tugging Liam back into him and holding on tightly.

 

Liam knows that Louis has finally let himself need someone, and it’s the greatest feeling he’s ever felt, igniting something wild inside his bones.

**Author's Note:**

> somehow this felt much better in my head then how it translated on paper. oh well.


End file.
